I Am A Legend....Anyone want To Buy The Title?

People keep asking me about how to publish, sell and promote their comics. I can get 2-4 of these emails each week.

I used to write back with long replies but warning of pitfalls, too.  How many have ever sent a "thank you" after that?  How many from the last few weeks have?   Zero. 0.  None.

Basically, my advice is, if you have not already thought about all this then feck off and do not ask me. I do not care if you have "heard" that I am a "legend" (you have to be a massive egotist to call yourself a legend -I'll get back to that in a mo') I am NOT your publisher.  NO, I do not want to publish your books and really you ought to get out of comics because if you are so dopy you have not thought of one simple thing beyond writing/drawing a comic -not even got a second issue planned "unless this one takes off" -which means you con people into buying issue 1 but that's it.  Story never continues because you gave up.  I've a huge stack of these number 1s!  You need a carer.

Now, this has happened a few times at events and once before on the bus but..."Wow. You're THE Terry Hooper? You're a legend, man!" said the young man reading 2000 AD on a bus when he saw me looking at the cover. I responded, as always,  "You need a better legend, son -I only write, draw and publish comics!" But he was soooo young and enthusiastic....I even forgot to ask HOW he knew me?

The last time a twenty minutes long bus trip while I was feeling unwell turned into a discussion on the Golden Age Batman and recent DC Superman movie when a studenty-type noticed me at the back of the bus.

I have no problem talking to people about comics but I am truly embarrassed when I get called "a legend".  Put it in perspective. Young person asks some old codger where the Tap & Barrel pub is. He gets directions and beams back: "Thanks, mate -yer a legend!"

See? Meaningless word. 

My general response is usually automatically: "Stuff the legend -I'll take the money if you don't mind, Sir!"

Does this post have a point?  Oh yes. Financial reality has been struck home with a huge crash and I realised that as much as I want to I cannot retire from comics.  Health care is no problem -thanks to the NHS.  But money for food and to live on?  Basically, I am screwed for reasons not to do with comics.

That blue plaque will read on my wall: "Home of Terry Hooper-Scharf.  A Confused Man. A Legend" and another sign will read: "Terry Hooper-Scharf's comic collection -3p a copy!"

sigh.