“have you tried a bank?”

In response to that title I ought to add that it is not a reference to "doing a bank job"! :-)

Back in the 1980s I tried every scheme going to set up Black Tower Comics. There were a lot of Government schemes –most (after asking for the business plan) informed me that the scheme(s) were now aimed at school leavers or people up to the age of 21 so I was “too old”.

There were private schemes that were all set up to help people create and run businesses and no age restrictions were given but final interview after final interview I was being told “You are a little old for the present scheme so we cannot take it any further”.

You put many, many days into altering your business plan for particular funding schemes criteria and they say nothing when it is presented with a full Cv that gives your date of birth and age yet they have to drag you in to their office to simply say “You are too old”.  Why could they not write a letter explaining that the scheme never said so but it prejudices against people over 21 years of age?  Probably it was because it gave them a sense of power not to mention later sexual gratification.

And the annoying aspect was when you had to sit stony faced like Charles Bronson (the actor not criminal) as anywhere from 2-4 people snickered or smiled because you were talking comics.  “Oh, like the Beano or Dandy you mean?” or “Like Batman or Superman?” and lots of mocking that turned to annoyance (many times not hidden) when you pointed out how long those comics had been going and that they were all successfuol comic businesses with accounts at well known banks as well as having stocks and shares.

But it was not just government and private schemes that did/do this sort of thing. Being asked to make the 200 miles trip to London to discuss my comic proposal (it’s a fairly well known story now) only to find that the publisher had gone off on a pre-planned trip to Canada but had said nothing the day before.  But it was business so you think “perhaps” and leave it at that. 

The next phone conversation did not involve any apology but I was told “I have the mock-up copy of the comic and paperwork on my desk now –can you come up on Thursday?” It was a Tuesday but, yes, if he wanted to discuss pricing and format I would go back to London even if it made me broke.

On the Thursday I met a couple artists in London and we headed off to the ‘office’ of the publisher.  He was sat at his desk and I introduced myself and he hardly looked up but simply tossed by business proposal across the desk. “Changed my mind” was all he said.  I asked why he could not have told me that over the phone and why had he asked me to come all the way to London? His response was a chuckle and “Saves me postage”.  This is the point that the picking up and overturning his oak desk occurred and he flew backwards while my friends pulled me back.

Anyway, banks.

Every year I made alterations to my business plans and submitted them to each and every bank I could find.  I did this first in 1984 and the results never changed.

The response letter was usually to ask me to come in to see the business manager and discuss my proposal. Tie and jacket on, briefcase crammed with absolutely any and every document I might or might not need!  Nice greeting at the door and then waffle for 5-10 minutes.

“My colleagues and I have gone over the proposal with a fine toothcomb.  You seem to have covered every aspect of the business including several back-up plans which is more thorough than we normally see.  Your pricing and profit predictions as well as quotes from a number of printers is very thorough”

Body language usually gave it away but then came:

“However, none of us at the bank has any experience in comics so we’ll have to decline”

There was then a slight pause followed by “But if things do take off we’ll be more than happy to handle your business account –I can take you through what it will cost-“

At which point I said “Thank you” but declined the offer to open up a business account which would involve a monthly fee –paying money to a bank who “might be willing to” handle my business but give absolutely no support.  In fact they would take my money.

Bank after bank, year after year and it was almost as though they were reading from a set script  -if I were paranoid I’d feel these people were all discussing my proposal and passing on how they had rejected it!

So my very last attempt in 2002 went like this. “Come in and discuss” letter and then the slimy smile and hand-shake by which point I knew what the bank had decided.

In the office we sat down and then the conversation started.

Bankman: “Right….”

Me: “Right. You’ve read the document?”

Bankman: “Yes, well, my colleague ran me through it---“

Me: “It is very comprehensive in looking at what is already available and where the comics I intend to publish will fit in”

Bankman: “Uh, yes…”

Me: “It looks at back up plans should anything go wrong with the initial plan and even has contingencies should they not work”

Bankman: “Um…yes. It’s….”

Me: “Thorough and you would be hard pressed to come even close to such a comprehensive business plan pulling on years of experience and wide knowledge of the industry”

Bankman (nervous chuckle): “Uh, yes, I did—“

Me: “Think it was a solid business plan put together very professionally but with no  knowledge of the industry you can’t really see the bank investing in a loan to get things started?”

Bankman:”Well, uh, you seem to have done this---“

Me: “Before? Absolutely”

Bankman:”Okay…uh…I don’t think I can add any more…”

Me: “But you appreciate my giving the bank the opportunity to look it over”

Bankman: “Uh, yes”

Me (rising and putting paperwork back in briefcase):”I take it that if the business starts off and becomes a good earner your bank will be interested in handling my business account?”

Bankman: “Oh yes.  Absolutely.”

Me: “Like fuck you will. Bye”

I had just had the last straw and the bank had wasted my time. I think the most telling interview I ever had was after a submission to a bank in 1990. I dealt with an old school business manager –the sort that actually carried out research. His response to me was “Well, if you were in Europe or even the United States there would be no problem but the overwhelming reaction of UK banks is that comics are for kids and there can’t be money in it”.

Private backers I am also wary of.  I have dealt with five who were “really into comics and the sequential art form” –a warning phrase if ever there was one. So I went through all the motions –you have no choice because this is business. Out of the blue silence or a sudden change of mind and without exception each one has given their reason for “opting out” as “pursuing probably more lucrative Indie music field”.

Interest from a Japanese businessman back in the 1990s failed after he came across not just negative reactions in the then UK comics press (we had one back then) but the sheer hostility of British comic creators –the very people he would be employing and paying. He politely explained all of this to me in detail which I have reported on before.  Those UK comic creators gave a cheer over their success….of stopping the UK having regular monthly comic titles and them getting any work.

When I get asked “have you tried a bank?” I tend to take a deep breath and go over this as quickly and briefly as possible.  Again, this is a very condensed summary to avoid putting readers into a coma.

I interviewed the late John Cooper twice and when I asked what he thought of the current state of British comics he responded by drawing the sort of peak and waves you get on heart monitors that ended with flat-lining “Good enough?” he asked.

I have a list of creators that I would never ever recommend and would never use. People who have seen it call it “Hooper’s Black List”.  If someone in business were interested in comic funding then my two considerations have to be using their money to the best advantage to produce good and sellable comics and to, hopefully, making them some profit.

To make a point, in 2016, when I posted on investment needed for UK comics, there were three very negative and one rude comment (I "wonder" who from) -telling me that if I loved European (?) comics so much why didn't I "just go **** off to Europe".  So if you find that post you'll notice in comments:

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