“Comics Are Created By Not Very Bright People For Equally Dumb Readers”

  And that quote came from a well known Fleetway editor in the 1980s -I had two other people with me and wrote it down as soon as we left.

Didn’t he think it might be insulting to say this to three comic creators’ faces?  Apparently not but, I need to make this clear, he seemed not to notice my two companions and treated me simply as a Creators Agent (which I was at that period). Still, he did also complain about how much the company had to pay artists -”at least writers are cheap”, he added -”HELLO! WRITER HERE!”


Anyway, I’m beginning to think that, maybe, he was right. About idiots working in comics that is.

You see, from 2008 onward CBO had a NO PDF policy for reviews and you need to check the Reviews Policy under Categories to YOUR right to find out why.

Even when I send some publishers the link to Reviews Policy I still get “So you wont review a pdf book, then?”  When they ask that I answer no further correspondence from them.  They have my address to send a book to review. End of story. I do not care if they send me a review book or not (I’m not actually losing out there).

But when the same publisher does this EVERY time? That’s one dumb-ass for you.

Then we have the “but I’m a friend of yours” emails requesting I review their pdf book. No. That does not work. I have no friends just acquaintances. So don’t try to pull the friend trick with me.

“You don’t make it easy for anyone to contact you” is the other one. You see at the top of the page where it says “ABOUT” -A..B…O…U…T? email and postal address but hidden in plain indicated sight.

Or better, three emails from a publisher that are blank except for the line: “inline cover image” then you ask them to either send a PR and image or they get put into Spam. Then you get an email to say “Oh, okay.” Then one with an image and then another with text that is so badly put together (even though I spelt out what needs to go into a PR) I cannot use and I am NOT re-writing the PR for them.

How about the publisher who gets lots of PR out of CBO but in three years NEVER sent a review book despite saying “Okay, got your address I’ll send a copy along” but NEVER does and then gets uppity because you are not putting out his PR?

How about someone who sends a CD marked “for review” but with no covering letter or other information? Are you going to put an anonimously sent disc into your computer and run it? If so yer a double-dumb-ass.  The CDs get binned.

Then we have the “Sometimes you publish too much news and information” complaints. Are you being feckin serious???

And comic readers:”I CANNOT read that -it’s a black and white comic!” or even “Hmph. Looks interesting but it’s black and white” or “Don’t you do colour comics?” These things not just said to me but also to other publishers at conventions. Do you know what is even worse? The publisher then goes on the defensive:”Well, not at the moment but we are hoping to move into colour but we need to get sales to make the money…blah..blah..” There is no intention to move to colour and whether the publisher thinks that line will get him a sale I do not. If he does then HE is the dumb-ass.

If you cannot stand there and say “This is published by me. It’s black and white and that does NOT lessen the quality in any way. I am proud of what I publish” –GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS.

Then we have companies who cannot be bothered to send out PRs and images to you. They now bundle them all up in a zip file, Winrar it and upload to an FTP server such as 4Share or one of the many others. They give you a url but YOU then have to join the FTP server or not get access. It’s free but you have to take five-ten minutes to join.  THEN you can download the Winrar file (you have to buy winrar online -mine was free with the publishing software) if you can to get to the individual files and PRs. I timed it last week -20 minutes.

THE COMIC REVIEWER IS NOT -NOT- EMPLOYED BY THE COMIC PUBLISHER AND DOES ALL THE WORK FOR NOTHING SO WHY IN ANY GOD’S NAME DO THESE PUBLISHERS THINK YOU WANT TO DO ALL THE WORK TO PROMOTE THEIR PRODUCT?  SEND ME A FTP AND “Spam” OR “Junk” BECKONS!

I also like that there are certain creators who came to me for help and advice on getting into the comics business and who I advised, and some now working regularly in US comics, are getting all uppity with newcomers asking them for the same advice. They tell these wannabees “a few home truths” and that’s it.  I can see that they do not want to lose any of the getting rarer by the week work offers but did they fight to keep our UK industry alive? No. Some attacked me as having a “Saviour Complex” when I suggested that all UK comic blogs get behind a “Save The British Comics Industry”  campaign which would involve their just adding “Save The British Comics Industry” to their blogs. Well, I hate to write that I predicted what was going to happen…but as a Saviour I do have the ability to see the future!

My advice to newbies is to perfect your skill and send samples to….well, no one really pays except Marvel and DC these days and you’ll never get in there…uh, overseas publishers (though French publishers are so spoilt for talent they can pick out of thousands and some do not pay well….

Publish your own comic. These days it is relatively easy. See how it sells. Send copies to publishers but do not get into this thinking there is a huge gravy train waiting for you to dip your bread into it.
Comic publishing in the UK is dead as a professional career -it began to die the moment the fan boy got into companies as editors.

The Small Press is what exists in the UK and most publishers will give you a shovel as payment so that if you see the end of that rainbow you can go dig for the pot of gold. Some 98% of those involved in the UK Small Press in the 1980s/1990s are no longer involved. In ten years time I guess 99% of those currently involved will be out of it as it has become a cliquey “arty” pass-time.  But even so, more fun stuff going on there.

If you are NOT a double dumb-ass you can ignore this.

If you ARE a double dumb-ass -go ask Didio or Quesada for a job.