Actually, someone on my personal Face Book page -no. Family and close friends (so family) only- asked why I do not adapt some of my idea to TV or movie based formats? Well, Cabinet Of Curiosities (c)2015, Fred Pervys Diary of Horror (c) 2015 and Grey Book(c) 2015 as well as the written for German TV Luftwaffe Geheim 1 (c) 2015 all date back to 1993-2000.
In fact, the Director of Drama at the BBC loved "Cabinet" but "the BBC has opted for some new American tv series" (X-Files) -the idea is that old! Initially, I wrote it with a specific actor in mind -Sylvester McCoy. As it is not specifically time based ("now") it still works.
"Fred Pervy" (the man at the BBC said it should not use the original spelling as "it was rather dubious" -the original spelling was "Pervie"! Again, this was a horror/sci fi series set in a coastal town in the UK and the producer and then director both agreed that my choice of actors "was perfect" -Roy Hudd as Sid Pervy and June Whitfield as a Mystic Meg type character. Why did this never go ahead? Well, as I found with the BBC and ITV (when ITV made TV programmes!), if a producer or director liked something but moved to another company for more money, even if the series was being scripted then they cancelled it. The 'reasoning' I was told was quite simple: if it failed then "the new boy gets the wrist slap" but if it was a success "the new boy gets no kudos -it's all a success because the chap who left approved it"
With Grey Book there were three different producers and each one wanted changes. The final one was the person who broke my resolve to continue and what a phone call!. "The two female characters are romantically linked but we don't see anything" My reply: "Sorry? I don't catch your drift?" His reply: "Well, it will be a 9 PM programme and perhaps you ought to write in a bit more sex!" Now, initially this was to be slotted for a Saturday night -same time slot as series such as Bugs, Strange and so on. I had no idea it was thought better for weeknights -and later "an after Ten show" But the new man kept pressing "You can go to town, spice things up and really get viewers in!" It wasn't the point. I did relent to a degree but then the man "moved on" and I got a curt "It is not as funny as you obviously think it is. As a comedy: no." W T F????
It was dumped and I had rough scripted the first six episodes -the initial series 1 with cliff hanger ending.
One day, after Sad Lads Pad (the original TV series idea) had been rejected I phoned up one of the nice female assistant producers and asked what was going on? I was told -and she sounded very depressed about it- that the BBC was "dumbing it"; they were going to make more "docusoaps about airports, drain cleaners and the list went on. "Comedy is ******!" she said before asking me not to say she had said so. Her final words to me were: "It's going to be docusoap, docusoap, docusoap -Play For Today and serious drama- all gone!"
I was told I ought to try ITV.
in fact I had been talking with ITV for a long time. Back in those the UK was divided up into regions that had to make a certain amount of programming for the network so we had Granada, HTV, Central, Yorkshire TV and so on.
Some of you with long memories that years back Channel 4 had a "Carry On Weekend" based on the British comedy film series? That was my idea and I worked on it with the top director at Yorkshire TV. Well, it was my idea because once it was all sorted out on paper and a schedule for programmes worked out Channel 4 suddenly said "Sorry not interested" -dropped like stone after months of work. A couple months later Channel 4 had their Carry On Weekend. I contacted the director at YTV and asked what we could do about it because it was a rip-off. "Nothing we can do. Happens all the time in TV I'm afraid. They'll say it never fitted in at the time but then someone else had a similar idea which they presented and was accepted" And he was not joking. I still have his much more cautiously phrased letter. And I got more reasons to hate Channel 4.
Very oddly, I recently contacted the BBC as I wanted to follow a few things up. They could find none of my correspondence, none of the hefty project files and -get this- they could NOT find any details on the producers and directors I was in touch with. "Oh, it was all before computers -most of the papers might be archived somewhere" I was told.
Now that might sound odd but it isn't. I used to regularly go to BBC Whiteladies Road, Bristol where the Natural History Unit is based. I had three conversations with programme directors/producers about natural history projects and on each occasion I -not working for the BBC- was asked if I knew where certain NH clips and files were that could be used. I was rather dumbstruck the first couple times but was told repeatedly "The BBC is a huge organisation and the Natural History unit is very large. We buy clips and store them away -but they could be anywhere!" Seriously. They spent licence fee payers money on something they wanted or "had to have" but like spoilt children then , well, lost it.
And HTV that produced a lot of drama: "Wonderful tight scripting. Excellent characterisation -and good plot twists....." here it comes "....but won't the special effects be very expensive?"
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
ahem. So I put together a whole document on how the effects could be achieved "cheaply" but still be good and I met and talked with them again....then again and "It might work as a co-production to cut our costs" --
As it was I had been in touch with 3Sat, NDR and other German TV companies and they had no problem in co-funding as it was a common practice. AND they liked the ideas. The problem was that I had to act as the go-between. I had to work out costs where scenes could be filmed and then get approval from both sides. The Germans agreed to the terms and Luftwaffe Geheim 1 and Fred Purvy were go!!
3Sat: "Uh, HTV has not gotten back to us with the contract yet....?" I chase up HTV and get mumbling so have to be insistent on talking to the person in charge (who had just come back from a week in Germany on a wine tour but now had a personal grudge against Germans!!). But he would get on to it. Nothing. Then the other German companies asked about the UK companies who were supposed to have signed contracts weeks before. One excuse after another and eventually I had letters and phone calls from German TV people: the money HAD to be allocated and as none of the UK TV companies had failed to even sign a contract or talk to them...they were withdrawing. The man at 3Sat did everything he could to delay the inevitable because he really wanted to film Luftwaffe Geheim 1.....then his bosses said "no more".
Basically, UK TV was a mess and I think we can all see that now!!
Cable or satellite TV stations? Well, there are more now and I do get tempted to dig out the ream of papers (IF I can find them) and try anew.
But things are easier done these days. The super hero TV idea I had back in the 1980s would have cost huge amounts but today CGI can do a lot. The horror/sci-fi series ditto. I'd much prefer to work with a small production company where, if all else fell through, an end product could appear on DVD.
I have this strange idea that none of these ideas will ever see the flat-screen TV world!
CABINET OF CURIOSITIES, FRED PURVYS DIARY OF HORROR, GREY BOOK, LUFTWAFFE GEHEIM 1 and SAD LADS PAD (C)2015 Terry Hooper-Scharf & BT Projects
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