Oh dear Gods of Light and Darkness!
Anyone out there old enough to remember the gods awful -and I mean AWFUL- Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 #22, January, 1987?
I can recall buying it along with all my other Marvel comics and reading through it. I read it again. I read it again. Was someone on fecking drugs???
The synopsis from Marvel.wikia:
http://marvel.wikia.com/Web_of_Spider-Man_Vol_1_22
"As Joy and Pete are driving into Belfast, all they can see is devastation. Pete's spider-sense warns him of danger and he brakes hard across Joy in the car while a petrol bomb flies across their path. Terrorists with guns show up but are eventually fought off my the military police and Pete and Joy manage to drive their way into the middle of the city. Welcome to Northern Ireland, I guess.
Joy is still on the trail of Roxxon and takes Pete off to their HQ. They are also on the looking for the mysterious 'black hoods' gang who the military police warned them about. After stumbling across a fire in a block of flats, Pete and Joy meet a guy called Liam, whose flat it was. He says he's running from the Black Hoods. Liam says the Hoods killed his brother and are now after him.
He takes them to a pub and introduces them as American reporters. One of the patrons tells them that the Hoods have been causing trouble in the area but no-one knows why. Joy thinks Roxxon is involved because the Hoods don't seem like 'traditional' terrorists. As they leave, a gang with rifles surround them - looks like they've been talking a bit too loudly in the pub.
The gang blindfold them and take them to the Roxxon building where they are met by a chap called Ian Forbes. Forbes tells them that the Pentagon terminated a defence contract with Roxxon and so they decided to try and sell their weapons to the British government to use in Ireland. He demonstrates the use of a tank (that has a tendency to overheat) to them. He then introduces 003 - a British secret serviceman.
His plan is to cause unrest through the Black Hoods in Ireland, then some 'well-placed' politicians in London will call for greater force to be used and so Roxxon come in and sell their weapons. As they are locked up, Liam shows up. Pete and Joy want to get more evidence against Roxxon, so split up as they escape. Pete does a quick change to Spidey and does some arse- whupping. He finds out Forbes and 003 are escaping via helicopter on the roof.
On the roof, Liam and Joy have been recaptured. Spidey saves them and manages to get a tracer on the helicopter. Liam shoots one of the gang who is threatening them but finds out it is his brother, called Rory. The last thing we see is the helicopter exploding while a shadowy figure in a Roxxon building says Forbes had been too careless. "
In a post World War 2 like landscape with British troops in -German style?- half-track vehicles and US uniforms the American reader is introduced to Northern Ireland. The Northern Ireland that exists in the mind of some dope-arsed American writer who, I assume, had never been to Northern Ireland? It was from this book that the famous Irish swear word came. What vocal obscenity? Oh -"meadow muffins!" I am NOT kidding. Us Brits discussed this long and hard over peals of laughter at the junk we were reading/seeing. We could only assume that "meadow muffins" were cow pats?
Arses.
But it seems that American writers also preferred to see "British occupied Northern Ireland" in some drug orientated way....maybe to ease their consciences I dunno -a lot of weapons were purchased by the IRA with American money so...?
And now I have just read something re-published by Marvel in 2012: Avengers: The Contest but back in the 1980s there was no big movie to spin reprints off of so any comic reader would know this as a compilation of the first Marvel Super Hero Contest Of Champions.
You can read about Arabian Knight -created BY Bill Mantlo so no excuses!- here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arabian_Knight_%28comics%29
Yes, I have some odd comics in my collection and this is going to join them. Why? Because I am one meadow muffin farmer is why!
ohhh, why am I such a comics slut?
Anyone out there old enough to remember the gods awful -and I mean AWFUL- Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 #22, January, 1987?
The synopsis from Marvel.wikia:
http://marvel.wikia.com/Web_of_Spider-Man_Vol_1_22
"As Joy and Pete are driving into Belfast, all they can see is devastation. Pete's spider-sense warns him of danger and he brakes hard across Joy in the car while a petrol bomb flies across their path. Terrorists with guns show up but are eventually fought off my the military police and Pete and Joy manage to drive their way into the middle of the city. Welcome to Northern Ireland, I guess.
Joy is still on the trail of Roxxon and takes Pete off to their HQ. They are also on the looking for the mysterious 'black hoods' gang who the military police warned them about. After stumbling across a fire in a block of flats, Pete and Joy meet a guy called Liam, whose flat it was. He says he's running from the Black Hoods. Liam says the Hoods killed his brother and are now after him.
He takes them to a pub and introduces them as American reporters. One of the patrons tells them that the Hoods have been causing trouble in the area but no-one knows why. Joy thinks Roxxon is involved because the Hoods don't seem like 'traditional' terrorists. As they leave, a gang with rifles surround them - looks like they've been talking a bit too loudly in the pub.
The gang blindfold them and take them to the Roxxon building where they are met by a chap called Ian Forbes. Forbes tells them that the Pentagon terminated a defence contract with Roxxon and so they decided to try and sell their weapons to the British government to use in Ireland. He demonstrates the use of a tank (that has a tendency to overheat) to them. He then introduces 003 - a British secret serviceman.
His plan is to cause unrest through the Black Hoods in Ireland, then some 'well-placed' politicians in London will call for greater force to be used and so Roxxon come in and sell their weapons. As they are locked up, Liam shows up. Pete and Joy want to get more evidence against Roxxon, so split up as they escape. Pete does a quick change to Spidey and does some arse- whupping. He finds out Forbes and 003 are escaping via helicopter on the roof.
On the roof, Liam and Joy have been recaptured. Spidey saves them and manages to get a tracer on the helicopter. Liam shoots one of the gang who is threatening them but finds out it is his brother, called Rory. The last thing we see is the helicopter exploding while a shadowy figure in a Roxxon building says Forbes had been too careless. "
In a post World War 2 like landscape with British troops in -German style?- half-track vehicles and US uniforms the American reader is introduced to Northern Ireland. The Northern Ireland that exists in the mind of some dope-arsed American writer who, I assume, had never been to Northern Ireland? It was from this book that the famous Irish swear word came. What vocal obscenity? Oh -"meadow muffins!" I am NOT kidding. Us Brits discussed this long and hard over peals of laughter at the junk we were reading/seeing. We could only assume that "meadow muffins" were cow pats?
Arses.
But it seems that American writers also preferred to see "British occupied Northern Ireland" in some drug orientated way....maybe to ease their consciences I dunno -a lot of weapons were purchased by the IRA with American money so...?
And now I have just read something re-published by Marvel in 2012: Avengers: The Contest but back in the 1980s there was no big movie to spin reprints off of so any comic reader would know this as a compilation of the first Marvel Super Hero Contest Of Champions.
And all those absolutely stupid things that went to show WHY American writers -or Di$ney which has bastardised the folklore and history of many nations for a $- should stick to just writing American characters.
Well, what I noticed is the cover art. Straight away -Sub-Mariner has a
huge, over-sized leg coming out of his hip/side. Proportions and
perspective are weird -the characters (including Daredevil who is also
deformed- are all odd sizes. Bill Mantlo I shall always remember for
Micronauts...I do not think it was as badly written as this.
The
dialogue was so bad I kept thinking "is this meant for 6-9 year olds?" I
mean: "I'm Sabra of Israel! Like the spiny pear that is the symbol of
the Israeli people from which I derive my name...I am harsh to my
enemies...yet sweet to my friends!" All she had to say is "I am Sabra
of Israel!" that was just long winded, VERY badly written crap.
And then
we have: "I am Blitzkrieg, of West Germany...Lord of the lightning
strike!" So, "Lightning Lord" translates as "Blitzkrieg" does it? I
really, really am very disappointed by the dialogue.
The gathering of
vanished heroes who all meet up at a mysterious location (hmmm. I wonder
whether I've ever used that? hmm) is quite a common plot theme but if I
ever wrote dialogue like this I would ask a friend (if I had any) to
break my fingers.
It just makes Bill Mantlo seem to be a very poor
writer. But, then, this wasn't the best 'Avengers' book was it? Still
fun ....I'm a Gemini -waddaya expect???? El Defensor....thank gods this
was before any Falkland/Malvinas war!!!
We have the Irish heroine "Shamrock" (SERIOUSLY????) and Captain Britain.
Shamrock :"You wear the emblem of Great Britain!"
Captain Britain:"And you the Green of Ireland"
Caps:"Shamrock and Captainb Britain, divided by their countries' enmity, eye each other suspiciously."
Script by Bill Mantlo. Arse.
I remember fighting off the hordes of Irish, black hooded kamikazee waves with their shamrock flags blowing in the wind. Obviously no idea what-so-ever of Irish national colours -"Hey -shamrocks the national emblem, right?" I was surprised that Irelands great super hero The Leprachaun wasn't shown. **** this was bad.
But, oh, the un-PC national -racist- stereotyping didn't stop there. There is an Arabic hero called...I feel soooo dirty writing this...."Arabian Knight" -I have no idea who "Defensor" is/was and the bald-headed "Talisman" of Australia...yes, this book is really making me feel dirty.
Don't get me wrong. I simply switch of my higher brain functions to read this stuff. Not sure if it was meant to tie in with toys or not but, oy!
It's good fun but even in the no-computers-to-do-research-by, there is no excuse for some of the stereotyping unless it was "just write it and get the pay cheque!"
I'm sure they could have included Captain Lesbos -hero of the island state of Lesbos?
I have to say, with all of this, yes, it was enjoyable.
And, yes, I do realise they shoved two Avengers Annuals in here to make it an "Avengers" title.
Oh no....I just found this. Hilarious -I think a bit of pee just came out!
You can read about Arabian Knight -created BY Bill Mantlo so no excuses!- here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arabian_Knight_%28comics%29
Yes, I have some odd comics in my collection and this is going to join them. Why? Because I am one meadow muffin farmer is why!
ohhh, why am I such a comics slut?
Don´t worry, I also bought the hardcover and for three reasons :
ReplyDelete1. it´s the follow up to the Korvac Saga, since they are competing to restore the Collector
2. it´s one of the aerliest work of John Romita Jr
3. it has every superhero they had at that time in it since it was intended to be released at the same time as the olympic games. I think the USA ended up not going to this one so they changed the story and contest of the champions was born
And who could be better than El Defensor, arriba ;-)
Well, what I noticed is the cover art. Straight away -Sub-Mariner has a huge, oversized leg coming out of his hip/side. Proportions and perspective are weird -the characters (including Daredevil who is also deformed- are all odd sizes. Bill Mantlo I shall always remember for Micronauts...I do not think it was as badly written as this. The dialogue was so bad I kept thinking "is this meant for 6-9 year olds?" I mean: "I'm Sabra of Israel! Like the spiny pear that is the symbol of the Israeli people from which I derive my name...I am harsh to my enemies...yet sweet to my friends!" All she had to say is "I am Sabra of Israel!" that was just long winded, VERY badly written crap. And then we have: "I am Blitzkrieg, of West Germany...Lord of the lightning strike!" So, "Lightning Lord" translates as "Blitzkrieg" does it? I really, really am very disappointed by the dialogue. The gathering of vanished heroes who all meet up at a mysterious location (hmmm. I wonder whether I've ever used that? hmm) is quite a common plot theme but if I ever wrote dialogue like this I would ask a friend (if I had any) to break my fingers. It just makes Bill Mantlo seem to be a very poor writer. But, then, this wasn't the best 'Avengers' book was it? Still fun ....I'm a Gemini -waddaya expect???? El Defensor....thank gods this was before any Falkland/Malvinas war!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, Bill Mantlo also wrote ROM, Spaceknight which was much better. And I think he also wrote the first Rocket Raccoon series.
ReplyDeleteYes. But he also wrote this. Seriously, I have no idea what happened here -the two annuals included in this book (mine's a paperback) are fine. I guess if this was meant as an Olympic tie-in then it might explain some things but, no. Not that script. Rom was a great series and introduced us to the pre-Skrull secret invasion style Dire Wraith invasion. WHERE are the Dire Wraiths???!!
ReplyDelete