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Terry Hooper-Scharf

Saturday 18 May 2019

The Money Side of Comics. Really?


People often ask about the money side of comics.  Yes, it is important because comics IS a business.

I have one of the best accountants in the UK comics industry and there is never any problem in getting to see him or query things as we both sign on for unemployment on the same day.  It's been a good working relationship over the years and he's had to borrow a tin of Baked Beans from me as often as I have from him. Baked beans cold are delicious -believe me: I've lived on a can of beans a day and warming them up loses a lot of flavour. When my dog died it was put down to inhalation of toxic fumes.

"Every penny counts" is true. I once had 13 pence in my pocket and the shop was selling tins of beans at 7p a can. I eventually found a 1p piece so got two cans instead of one. I ate like a king that day and farted like the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Chocolate bars HAVE shrunk over the years.  When Mars bars were not just over-sized Milky Way bars they were quite filling. 25p for a King Sized Mars Bar in the 1990s fed me and my dog -no kidding.

Spend money on postage or food? Well, you  HAVE (or HAD to) to send those packages off, right?  My solution was simple. You went to a stationary shop and bought one of those large packs of economy manilla envelopes -preferably the ones made of more gritty texture. Hungry? No cash? Boil some water and pour in some tomato ketchup (ALWAYS keep a bottle of Tomato ketchup stored away and never ever go for the brown sauce option as the tomato is the best) then slowly dunk in the envelopes one at a time until you have a saucepan full of a wet mush -it has the fibre and the tomato sauce hides the bitter taste. If you have an onion or some peas add those in. A good sized saucepan full will last you one or two days and you get fibre and nutrition.

Go without food for a few days (my maximum was six days) then never ever ever eat a large amount when you do get to buy food. Believe me, you do you'll need toilet rolls on standby. Best alternative -if you have it- is toast with marmalade -it's like manna from heaven!  Run out of tea or coffee then open those packs of herbal tea.  If you only have Mallow tee left in your cupboard close the doors. Leave it. I once drank six cups of the stuff and I was dying -and found out why it was called a "purger" -liquid out of every hole (were you eating?  Sorry).

When you do get a little money and can eat and drink again and replace those old holed shoes: you come across a "fellow creative" in a tight spot then walk away. Ignore them.  They won't appreciate the meal or cup of tea you bought them.  They won't ever think about the cash you gave them to see them through.  Just honestly look them in the eye and tell them sincerely: "We've all been there. You chose comics. Fuck you" and then walk off, head held high. Your work is done.

If back-stabbing, lies about you  and worse were a paid commodity in comics right now I'd be sitting in the sun somewhere and I'd know what I was eating today.  I almost wrote Commode there. Same thing.

Always keep a list in your head of the cheapest discount stores and the days that they do 'surprise price cuts'.

That's the financial side of being a comics creator in the 'thriving British comics industry' -please do not mock those who make that claim: years of drug and alcohol abuse have made them believe it to be true.
oh, as an addenda I would like to point that drawing daily since you were 6-7 years old and typing for hours EVERY day since you were 14 WILL affect you.

"Neoprene support up, baby!" is not quite like "Avengers Assemble!"

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