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Terry Hooper-Scharf

Sunday 28 December 2014

The Predicted Mayan Apocalypse


I hope everyone out there is okay?   The predicted  Mayan Apocalypse of 2014 WAS averted.  I'm in a lot of pain today because I'm getting too old for this stuff.  It was good to use the old service revolver again, though -they do not jam like automatics and so long as you can load fast....

Basically, a few Wiccans contacted me earlier in the year and we planned a big surprise for Ah Puch so as few as possible would get to Xibalba!  Couple Catholic priests trained in exorcism (cannon fodder), Church of England vicars and 12 priests from assorted faiths and my good old army chum Stumpy Jones.  Five sacred objects gathered by the Wiccans and....

Well, we found the Mayan cult beneath Bristol!  Well, we have hundreds of miles of forgotten/lost mine workings plus the Pen Park Hole which is cavernous.  Surprised me.  Also means those reports during the year of men dressed as Mayans kidnapping homeless people were not mass hysteria.

We started roughing it up at Midnight and I popped (shot)  the last cult priest at 0600 hrs.  So. if you see George Pants walking around with his sandwich board today say "Thank You" and buy him a meal -he managed to smash the Mayan Cult Object just as things looked very -VERY- bad.

Off to rest.  There WILL be a 2015.

Its what I do.




George Pants -Hero of the Hour!!!

4 comments:

  1. Nice to see you're still doing what you do. My regards to Stumpy and George Pants.

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  2. Stumpy and George appreciate it. As George said, while dipping a piece of toast in his tea: "The purpose of life is to serve humanity"

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  3. Thanks for saving the world again, Terry. Hope it was worth it!

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  4. Well, I do it for the little people out there. I seek no reward but I think Tesco could at least cut its prices for me -3rd price increase on items in just over a week. tut tut tut!

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