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Monday, 5 March 2012

Oh ****. Here We Go….AGAIN??!!

Firstly, let me say that I’ve just finished reading the new incarnation of JLA #6.  It’s an image comic from the 1980s.  Okay, Jim Lee is pencilling while four (4??!!) others ink.  After issue 6 I can tell you that, even with the rather interesting preview at the end of the Phantom Stranger chasing down a…yes, another…reality warping character…no.  No. I seriously think I’m coming to the end of my love for the JLA after 45 years!

Seriously, all the crap that started seeping in after the greedy bastards discovered that a universal crisis every year made a bucketful of money has led to…bilge.

Forget the died-in-the-wool-no-brains fan boys who’ll take any sort of crap DC (or Marvel) churns out because it is from DC or Marvel.  Jim Shooter wrote that if you take the dialogue out of the panels nothing makes any sense.  There seems to be no grasp of sequential story-telling.  And totally crapping up the characterisation of the characters so that they are just…well, who cares if they all died in issue 6?

They’d be back for volume 56 #1 -a sure seller.

Oh, and after everyone spent their money on 52 and all the spin-offs we are now told Pandora, who the Phantom Detective is pursuing, may be the key to the whole 52 crap?

WHY are DC sales along with their reputation as a good comic company going down the toilet? Read one of their comics (though I am told there is a good Batman title out there).

That brings us to Marvel.  sigh.

New Avengers, which started very well (with Romita Jnr on art…it was NA?) seems to have lost its promise.

Remember how Norman Osborne took control and the Avengers were discredited and became fugitives and Osborne created his own evil Avengers team?

“Dark Reign” I think they threw all the trash into.

Well, they re-launched with the new Heroic Age.

Guess what?

Norman Osborne is taking control of everything again.  He has his own Dark Avengers.  The Avengers (take your pick) have all been discredited and are now under threat of arrest…and the public are against them.  No, this is different.  I swear on my now torn up and flushed down the toilet MMMB card.

Norman Osborne has super powers.

Holy shit in a box of girl scout cookies!!!!!!!!

This is totally IT!!!!!

What “it”?

A pile of shit.

And where is continuity?  Federal officers in black outfits storm Avengers Mansion in one book and in the next they are wearing green body armour and guess what? Best joke ever from Ms Marvel -Warbird – or whatever-the-**** she’s called these days:”It’s so nice that you got to dig up your anti-super hero Civil War gear.  How exciting for all of you.”

Laugh?  I shat my pants.

Marvel is basically saying to its fans:”We are going to sell you more derivative crap of the same-old-same-old and you will love it!”  (I’m sure the editorial staff at Wizard are wetting themselves)

I was six years old when I read my first Avengers comic and then I saw the Gene Colan Sub-Mariner and Captain America (when he had credibility and before he died..not the first time nor the second time but….well, you get my point?).  I was hooked.  Only Justice League of America and its annual JLA-JSA team-ups pulled me from Marvel Comics.

Oh, now we have another major event.  Avengers versus X-Men.  Not the late 1960s Avengers versus X-Men nor the 1980s one but a bang-smack NEW Avengers versus X-Men.  I really am going to have to sell one of my sisters or myself into sex slavery to buy this.

You know I’m joking….right?

Anyway, luckily it isn’t just me that thinks DC and Marvel have lost the plot completely (sounds like a DC or Marvel comic).  Search the internet blogs.  You’ll find others.

I feel a couple news crises coming on….

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