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Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Have You Heard About Moses Telling You That Jesus Is Watching You?

Come on -anyone knows me KNOWS I had -HAD- to share this one!

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. 

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice....say, ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. 

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’

‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

‘The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.’

roll on snare drum please!


  1. Yep. That's great.... it's put me in mind of a different aprochriphal animal story. A violent and well muscled robberkidnapper breaks into a famous, rock stars house. After ransacking the house he finally finds the owner downstairs holding the door to a special room shut. The other side of the door is being banged and scratched by a huge animal. 'What the hell is it, man ?' asked the criminal. 'Most dangerous animal in the world, mate.' said the rock star - and so saying stepped away from the door.
    A blaze of nails and hair, teeth and leopard skin with flashing red eyes screamed out - and laid the burglar out cold.
    Ozzie Osbourne had been fighting with his wife.

    Not the best - heard it a long time ago.

  2. IF a burglar got lucky he might break in next door. If he broke in here all bets are off. He knew the score. He put himself outside the law---crap, better go finish covering him up.....oh he he