Total Pageviews

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Marvel Reboot On The Way....well, d'uh!

Avengers_35_Cover

MONTHS ago I stated that  this year (September/October) Marvel Comics were going to reboot their comics line....again.  Just google "Marvel Comics reboots" and it comes up with Marvel Comics reboot 2011...Marvel Comics reboot 2012 and so on and so on.

Now -no pun intended -"Marvel Now"- fans are up in arms as they hear everything is being rebooted from the start with...more #1s ("Number Ones" is a euphemism for peeing -you realise that, right?). I have just been reading some furious die-hard Marvel fans screeching "enough is enough!" and even some bloggers like Hippycollectibles has declared his anger at another reboot and that he is going to instead concentrate on completing his Silver Age collections.

DC reboots all the time.  They're dead in the water.

Does Marvel Disney care?  No. "Hey, those jerks will spend even more money cus its more number ones and their such dumb-asses they'll buy the lot!"  How can I adequately explain what Disney (there is NO Marvel Comics any more) is doing to you comic buyers?

It's 03:00 hrs (that's 3 am) and you wake up.  Some man in a suit is taking all the money out of your wallet/purse whatever.

You: "Who-who the hell are you? How'd  you--?"
Suit: "Ah, shut the **** up, moron. I wanted your money so **** you!"

Suited man throws something onto your bed.

You: "What was THAT???"
Suit: "I just crapped on your bed and needed to wipe my ass. You had plenty of first issues so I used those"
You: "You...you can't do that!"

Suit moves over to you, leans right in and pokes you in the eye.
Suit: "Listen shit-for-brains -spend your money, when you get more, buy them again. Got it?"
You: "But you can't just break in here, steal my money and crap on my bed and then use my comics as toilet paper -who gave you the right?!!"
Suit: "You did you dumb-ass. Oh. I butt-*****  "Namor" your goldfish, too."

"You" goes out next morning and withdraws more money from the TRM cash machine. "You" goes to his comic shop where he has to pay extra for the, uh, 'old' comics. As "You" sits at home wondering where it'll be safe to put his comics - his eye catches the rather sluggish goldfish. "You" feels momentarily ashamed.  "You" feels guilty but realises that at least he got those comics!

Even later online he reads "Marvel To Reboot entire line next month!"  "You" shrugs: "I'll have to make sure I set up a standing order for those!"

Two months later "You" wakes up at 03:00 hrs. A suited man is taking money ........

In an office at Disney a lot of men in suits are barely concealing their sexual arousal as they rub themselves in $ bills. One laughs out loud: "We got them bitches whipped -reboot in three months, guys!"

There.

I warned you all last time.  "What does he know?"  I warned you THIS time.  "BS, man!" So here is a snippet of more BS for you. At a "Marvel" meeting a lot of discussion was going on about rebooting and "restructuring the (comics) line" --around May 2015.

At this very moment "You" is getting ready to draw up his standing order list....unaware that in the background a man in a suit.....

1 comment:

  1. Just a quick note as I'm just back from the postie - small letter off to you. Hope it gets there soon, and I hope you have a chuckle over it as much as my daughter did.

    ReplyDelete